1]I may be wrong…. but i Doubt it!!!
2]Hey there….. be there.
3]typing….
4]Always remember you are UNIQUE………… just like everybody else
5]My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
6]I will be back before you pronunce afjkhnfkualnfhukcakecnhkj.
7]We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police
8]move on…
9]God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me
10]Just wanted to say, you are as useless as “ueue” in a “queue”.
11]I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather….not screeming and yelling like his passengers in car.
12]The last thing i want to do is hurt you…..but its still on the list;)
13]You don’t have to like me….I am not a facebook status.
14]Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit ….wisdom is not putting is a fruit salad.
15]I like to take road less travelled…..helps me to avoid traffic.
16]Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees widout brains
17]I can see you checking my whatsapp status.B)
18]There are many things you can’t buy….but still pay for them.
19]Whattsapp status is loading
20]Galileo:Great mind…Einstein:genius mind…Newton:Extraordinary mind….Bill gates:brilliant mind…..ME:Never Mind.
21]battery about to die
22]Urgent calls only
22]Status under construction.
23]No status available
24]Life is short, chat fast..!!!
25]Life is too short to be updating status
26]Too busy to update a status. 0_o
27]formula for success…….under promise and over deliver…….
28]since 1910
29]Life is too short. Don’t waste it copying my watsapp status….
30]I wish I had google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.
31]Keep moving! Nothing new to read…
32]Don’t be happy.I don’t Really forgive people,I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.
33]Error: status unavailable
34]Waiting for wi-fi network.
35]Jidhar apna CRUSH hai , udhar hich sala RUSH hai and filhaal timepass k liye only CANDYCRUSH he…(hindi)
36]One person’s LOL is another’s WTF!
37]I don’t care what people think or say about me, I was not born on this earth to please everybody.
38]Not always available, try your luck 
39]Second chances are for loosers….either we do it in first place or live it for others.
40]Even romeo went from being “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”.
41]Sorry vegiterians we can’t pretend
42]Hey Zukerberge if you are still into acquiring internet services that people spend enormous time on ,may i suggest IRCTC.
43]I have decided to leave my past behind me ,so i owe you money…..sorry but I’ve moved on.
44]I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as “Free Recharge”
45]If procrastination was an Olympic event ,I’d compete in it later.
46] Life is short talk fast
47]I started out with nothing and i still have most of it:)
48]I took IQ test …..results were negative
49]I don’t have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.
50]You treated me like an option so i left you like an choice
51]Your whatsapp status say’s online …..If your online then why aren’t you texting me
52]I am not questioning your honour. I am denying its existence.
53]My attitude will always be based on how you treat me.
54]Happiness is when “Last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing..”
55]I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here
56]I’m listening. It just takes me a minute to process so much stupidity all at once!!
57]Don’t talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street’
58]You are the product of 4 billion years of evolution, now fucking act like it.
59]I’ll try being nicer if you start being smarter.
60]I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
61]Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
62]I meditate for 20 min every morning …..It helps reduce stress of being 20 min late for everything
63]Better the vaccum cleaner the beter it sucks!!
64]If I had a gun with two bullets and i was with hitler,bin laden and you[insert your ex or your enemy's name],I would shoot you twice.
65]I did lots of stupid things on social networking sites but atleast i never commented “Cute pic dear “on girls profile picture
66]A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
67]I’ve been too fucking busy and vice versa
68]Life is too short. Dont waste it removing pendrive safely.
69]I wish i could trade my heart for another liver …..so that i can drink more and care less
70]Intelligence is like underwear. It’s important that you have it but there’s no need to show it off.
71]I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
72]Coins Always Make Sound But The Currency Notes Are Always Silent! ?that’s why i’m always Calm & Silent
73]Stop checking my status ! Go Get A Life 
74]A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.
75]I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
76]Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.
77]I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition
78]”Please don’t get confused between my personality & my attitude.
My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on who you are!”
My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on who you are!”
79]When you feel insulted I’m just describing you.
80]Xcuse me..I found something under my shoes. .ohh its your Attitude.
81]Love is that state of mind when a karan johar film becomes bearable.
82]I’m cool but global warming made me hot
83]When i am good i am best , when i am bad i am worst.
84]Without me its just awso.
85]Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it
86] I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
87]I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
88]100,000 sperms and i was the fastest;)
89]I like to always carry two sacks around. That way, if someone asks me to lend them a hand, I can say, “Sorry, got these sacks”.
90]Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you
91]I don’t like cocaine, i just like the way it smells;)
92]I haven’t slept for 10 days, because that would be too long.
93]Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
94]One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
95]It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
96]Dear Mario…..I Wasted My Childhood Trying To Save Your Girlfriend.Now, you help me to save mine.
97]Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.
98]apni to bass ek hi zeed he…. sar pe Taaj… Sath me koi Khasss aur is kamini duniya pe Raaaajjj !!…(hindi)
99]We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
100]I Loved A Girl and She Broke my heart….. Now every piece of my heart love DifferenT Girlz…. People called it flirt Thats Not fair…
101]Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.
