Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Best funny new whatsapp message


एक बार admin का फ़ोन TOILET में गिर गया
अचानक toilet से 'Toilet Devi' प्रकट हुई 
उन्होंने adminको एक गोल्ड का फ़ोन दिया

Adminने 'कुल्हाड़ी' वाली स्टोरी सुनी हुयी थी 
इस लिए वो ईमानदारी के साथ बोला 
ये सोने का फ़ोन मेरा नहीं है देवी जी '.

देवी बोली:
अबे बेवकूफ धो ले इसको !:😂😂😂




पाकिस्तान: तालिबान ::
गंगाधर:शक्तिमान




Son: dad, can I go to my friend's house for a party?

Dad: Don't ask me. Ask your mom...

Son: mom, can I go to my friend's house for a party?

 Mom: Don't ask me. Ask your dad...

Son: Sala, ye ghar hai ya SBI ki branch?  





2 famous people have died doing what they loved. 

Paul Walker  - driving 
Phil Hughes  -  batting 

God Bless Sunny Leone! 







Gujubhai Interview Ke Liye Gaya.

Naukri Already Boss Ke Saale Ko Mil Chuki Thee.

Par Formality Ke Liye Interview Jaroori Tha.

Isliye Aise Sawaal Pucche Ja Rahe The Jinka Kol Matlab Nahin Tha.

Gujubhai Ki Bari Aaye.

Interviewer : Aap Nadi Ke Beech Ek Boat Par Ho, Aur Apke Paas do Cigarettes Ke Alawa Kuch Bhi Nahin Hai.
Apko ek cigarette Jallana Hai. ? Kaise Jalaoge ?

Gujubhai Very Serious.
Sir Iske teen-char Solutions Ho Sakte Hai...

Interviewer Shocked Lekin Kahaan... Batao!!!

Gujubhai Ke Out Of The World Answers: Take one cigarette and throw it in the Water. So the boat will become
LIGHTER…… using this LIGHTER you can light the other Cigarette

Interviewer:- Kya Bakwas Hai...

Gujubhai's another deadly solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette

Interviewer:-Stupid

Gujubhai :- Sir one more Solution….
Take water in your hand 
and drop it drop by drop…(TIP – TIP)

Interviewer:- Abey Gadhe Usse Kya hoga..

Gujubhai :- Sir Aapne Wo Gaana Nahin Suna
“TIP TIP barsa Pani. Pani ne aag lagayee.” us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee”

Gujubhai - Sir If that was not enough, i have one more solution…..
Start praising one cigarette,The other will get jealous & “jalney lagega”

Interviewer Impressed :- Saale ko maaro goli , naukri Gujubhai ko hee de do.
Gujjus can sell anything...

Best New whatsapp status

Mujhe Itna Mat Ghuma Ae Zindagi
Main Shahar Ka Shayar Hoon, MRF Ka Tayar Nahi.

दादागिरी तो हम मरने के बाद भी  करेंगे ,   लोग पैदल चैलेगे और हम कंधो पर...


फायदा हो तो दुआओं में याद रखना... वर्ना खुश तो मैं वैसे भी हूँ...😃


Jo de aapko TENSION, use na de ATTENTION...


I will marry that girl, who look pretty in her AADHAR CARD.. 😝😝


Silent people have the loudest minds
Coin  always  makes  sound but  the  currency  notes are always  silent.  So  when  your value  increases  keep quiet.


Aksar chirag wohi bhujate hai ... jo pehle usse rosan karte hai🌅


Work hard in silence & let the success make noise. 


No status without status..


When someone behave like he is something dat means he is  actually nothing. 😊😂😃

if you don't want me to cross the line.then don't draw


Monday, November 10, 2014

BEST NEW WHATSAPP STATUS COLLECTION (NOV/2014)


1]I may be wrong…. but i Doubt it!!!
2]Hey there….. be there.
3]typing….
4]Always remember you are UNIQUE………… just like everybody else
5]My “last seen at” was just to check your “last seen at”.
6]I will be back before you pronunce afjkhnfkualnfhukcakecnhkj.
7]We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police
8]move on…
9]God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me
10]Just wanted to say, you are as useless as “ueue” in a “queue”.
11]I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather….not screeming and yelling like his passengers in car.
12]The last thing i want to do is hurt you…..but its still on the list;)
13]You don’t have to like me….I am not a facebook status.
14]Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit ….wisdom is not putting is a fruit salad.
15]I like to take road less travelled…..helps me to avoid traffic.
16]Wow now I’m a graduate…….Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees widout brains
17]I can see you checking my whatsapp status.B)
18]There are many things you can’t buy….but still pay for them.
19]Whattsapp status is loading
20]Galileo:Great mind…Einstein:genius mind…Newton:Extraordinary mind….Bill gates:brilliant mind…..ME:Never Mind.
21]battery about to die
22]Urgent calls only
22]Status under construction.
23]No status available
24]Life is short, chat fast..!!!
25]Life is too short to be updating status
26]Too busy to update a status. 0_o
27]formula for success…….under promise and over deliver…….
28]since 1910
29]Life is too short. Don’t waste it copying my watsapp status….
30]I wish I had google in my mind and antivirus in my heart.
31]Keep moving! Nothing new to read…
32]Don’t be happy.I don’t Really forgive people,I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.
33]Error: status unavailable
34]Waiting for wi-fi network.
35]Jidhar apna CRUSH hai , udhar hich sala RUSH hai and filhaal timepass k liye only CANDYCRUSH he…(hindi)
36]One person’s LOL is another’s WTF!
37]I don’t care what people think or say about me, I was not born on this earth to please everybody.
38]Not always available, try your luck ;)
39]Second chances are for loosers….either we do it in first place or live it for others.
40]Even romeo went from being “in a relationship” to “it’s complicated”.
41]Sorry vegiterians we can’t pretend
42]Hey Zukerberge if you are still into acquiring internet services that people spend enormous time on ,may i suggest IRCTC.
43]I have decided to leave my past behind me ,so i owe you money…..sorry but I’ve moved on.
44]I was not busy to be online… I had just gave up on my life when I picked up this girls phone and saw my contact name as “Free Recharge”
45]If procrastination was an Olympic event ,I’d compete in it later.
46] Life is short talk fast
47]I started out with nothing and i still have most of it:)
48]I took IQ test …..results were negative
49]I don’t have dirty mind, I have Sexy imagination.
50]You treated me like an option so i left you like an choice
51]Your whatsapp status say’s online …..If your online then why aren’t you texting me
52]I am not questioning your honour. I am denying its existence.
53]My attitude will always be based on how you treat me.
54]Happiness is when “Last seen at” changes to “online” and then to “typing..”
55]I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here
56]I’m listening. It just takes me a minute to process so much stupidity all at once!!
57]Don’t talk out loud, you lower the IQ of the whole street’
58]You are the product of 4 billion years of evolution, now fucking act like it.
59]I’ll try being nicer if you start being smarter.
60]I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
61]Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.
62]I meditate for 20 min every morning …..It helps reduce stress of being 20 min late for everything
63]Better the vaccum cleaner the beter it sucks!!
64]If I had a gun with two bullets and i was with hitler,bin laden and you[insert your ex or your enemy's name],I would shoot you twice.
65]I did lots of stupid things on social networking sites but atleast i never commented “Cute pic dear “on girls profile picture
66]A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
67]I’ve been too fucking busy and vice versa
68]Life is too short. Dont waste it removing pendrive safely.
69]I wish i could trade my heart for another liver …..so that i can drink more and care less
70]Intelligence is like underwear. It’s important that you have it but there’s no need to show it off.
71]I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
72]Coins Always Make Sound But The Currency Notes Are Always Silent! ?that’s why i’m always Calm & Silent
73]Stop checking my status ! Go Get A Life :P
74]A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.
75]I enjoy when people show Attitude to me because it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!
76]Everything that kills me makes me feel alive.
77]I Am Not Special , I Am Just Limited Edition :P
78]”Please don’t get confused between my personality & my attitude.
My personality is who I am & my attitude depends on who you are!”
79]When you feel insulted I’m just describing you.
80]Xcuse me..I found something under my shoes. .ohh its your Attitude.
81]Love is that state of mind when a karan johar film becomes bearable.
82]I’m cool but global warming made me hot
83]When i am good i am best , when i am bad i am worst.
84]Without me its just awso.
85]Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it
86] I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
87]I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
88]100,000 sperms and i was the fastest;)
89]I like to always carry two sacks around. That way, if someone asks me to lend them a hand, I can say, “Sorry, got these sacks”.
90]Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you
91]I don’t like cocaine, i just like the way it smells;)
92]I haven’t slept for 10 days, because that would be too long.
93]Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
94]One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
95]It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
96]Dear Mario…..I Wasted My Childhood Trying To Save Your Girlfriend.Now, you help me to save mine.
97]Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.
98]apni to bass ek hi zeed he…. sar pe Taaj… Sath me koi Khasss aur is kamini duniya pe Raaaajjj !!…(hindi)
99]We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten die.
100]I Loved A Girl and She Broke my heart….. Now every piece of my heart love DifferenT Girlz…. People called it flirt Thats Not fair…
101]Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits.